Grandma Caught Corona From a Reindeer
www.kuraoka.org
© John Kuraoka
With apologies to songwriter Randy Brooks (and Elmo & Patsy too)

Grandma caught corona from a reindeer
Joining us at our house Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as COVID
But as for me and grandpa we believe.

She’d been watching too much Newsmax
And we begged her not to come
Cuz she was anti-vaccination
But she said that she just had to see someone.
When she woke up Christmas morning
She had symptoms of disease
Like a fever in her forehead
And she'd been exposed to reindeer when they sneeze.

Grandma caught corona from a reindeer
Joining us at our house Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as COVID
But as for me and grandpa we believe.

Now we’re all so proud of grandpa
Staying six feet from his wife
See him in there cruising Tinder
Drinking beer and having the time of his life.
Now Grandma’s in the ICU
And the family’s got to ask --
Giving time for incubation,
Should we open up her gifts
Without a mask? (Wear a mask!)

Grandma caught corona from a reindeer
Joining us at our house Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as COVID
But as for me and grandpa we believe.

Now the roast beast’s on the table
And the dishes of the side
And silver knives that make us ponder
Thoughts of brutal bloody Rangifericide.
I’ve warned all my friends and neighbors
Better wash hands and take care
Wear a mask and keep your distance
Coronavirus-19’s in the air.

Grandma caught corona from a reindeer
Joining us at our house Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as COVID
But as for me and grandpa we believe.

(Sing it grandpa)
Grandma caught corona from a reindeer
Joining us at our house Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as COVID
But as for me and grandpa we beliee-eee-eeeve!
(Wear-a-mask-mas!)

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